Category Archives: Random Thought

These must be flushed from my brain, so they must go here.

The Eidetic Self-Image

I have directed a few friends and family to my first short story “Meat”. First comes the proposal: I mention I have been writing and have finished a short story. The mark will give a flat reply, then I advertise my blog and the name of the story. I go on to describe the content of the story. During the description I say how most of the protagonist is really me. I always feel petty after the whole process. Feeling petty hasn’t been the truly difficult part. I can deal with feeling petty. I think the tribulation has come from me telling the readers how much of me contaminated the protagonist. Why would I reveal this? I count four reasons why this is a bad thing to do:

  • the reader doesn’t care.
  • now the reader is obligated to give positive feedback.
  • the author will know the positive feedback is feigned, and take offense.
  • all the demons that ended up the page will be known as the author’s demons.

Telling the reader a character is only an image of the author steals: the reader’s freedom to define the character; the author’s ability to freely develop the character; and the character’s ability to take on free will. From the start the author is working against themselves. I won’t be telling my readers how much or little of myself is any of my characters anymore. The value is left for the reader and author to define.

Where does the eidetic self-image come from?

The pristine reflection of the author appears because good writing is tough. You may feel like your saying some great stuff, but really it’s just shit. The author could simply be pouring out his insipid mental deficiencies. Writing too much of yourself into a character will most likely bore. Also the author opens the door into their psyche a little too wide, allowing people to come in and mess up the place.


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The Need To Explore

Yesterday I felt the need to explore. I called into work, coaxed one of my dogs into the truck, and set out in my 91′ S-10. I decided to drive west. Early in the morning I began on the Interstate and ended up on gravel back roads. One of my favorite parts of the journey was careening across the gravel and coming up to a ridge. As I approached I could see a small frozen lake below. I left the ridge and looked for a way to get closer to the shore. I circled around the lake but couldn’t find any public access, only a private drive. I wanted to go back and see if I could get closer from the way I came, but I couldn’t go back.

I have a rule when exploring: no going back only forward. Looping back around would have been an option if I could have found roads to take me back to the lake, but it was too late. I reached the private drive and was dumped onto a highway. No going back. The unexpected find, the beauty of the lake, and the struggle against the rule made the event memorable.

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Random Thought: Who Are They? The Laziness Of The Mind

Who are They? The They that everyone blames for stuff: “You know, They don’t want you to know.” “They are taking all of our money.” “They are ruining the country.”

Everyone has a different They, and of course everyone’s Theys have different powers. For some, their Theys are crippling. The more racially centered Theys, tend to have this poisonous effect. Theys such as: Mexicans, African Americans, Asians, Jews–just some of the more popular ones. Others have Theys equally  burdensome such as: the government, the rich and elite, the military, extraterrestrials, the media, corporations. Or do you have a more subtle They? Maybe your They is your wife, or friends. How bout your co-workers, or boss.

Assigning the word “they” as: “They (capital T), an ominous power responsible for all you see wrong in the world,” is laziness. When we stop with reason and the will to find a solution, we come to They. We offload our will to comprehend on to an ambiguous term. This is bad English. They used in this street form, is a contradiction: you are assigning a non-specific group a specific power. How can something defined as a mist posses any thing?

The term, for me, as come to represent, “an allusive power at work not yet comprehended”. “They” is a beckoning onto the mind to go deeper. The word “they” only has the power to draw the mind into deeper understanding–to cause you to find out who or what “They” really are.


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Random Thought: New Definition for Corporatize

I would like to suggest a new definition be added for the word corporatize.

According to one of the current definitions is:

 cor·po·ra·tize: [kawr-per-uh-tahyz, -pruh-tahyz] verb (used with object), -tized, -tiz·ing. to develop into big business; bring under the control of a corporation: to corporatize baseball.

 I have been reading Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Nietzche, and there is a point were Zarathustra speaks about the last man. From my understanding, basically, the last man is a complacent; watered-down-image of a man. The last man has no real desires and stands around blinking at things.

So, I had this image of this impassive animal, and my mind drew a connection to the corporate environment at work. Without being too melodramatic, I would say, conforming to the imperious authority of our corporate employers is shaping us all into the last man: an ever diluted being; afraid to offend; only wanting to please; or be left alone being. Further, this corporatized being only does what it is told.

Capitalism is not good the for the sentient. The desire only for profit molds people into machines– corporatizing them.

I propose this new definition:

corporatize: v. to conform a being or product to best serve a corporation, (esp. if the conformation strips identity and desire from that being conformed): managers were taught to corporatize the employees as a part of best business practices.

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Random Thought: The Ultimate Failure

I’ve been hard to inspire lately. I’ve been drinking way too much. Self-defeating behavior is my specialty. Setting myself up for the fall– sabotaging my efforts.

But hey, life ends in an ultimate failure– death. The inability of any biological being to continue to sustain existence, is a failure on the organism’s part.

No point to this post really, just some self-loathing pretentious dribble.

Here’s a picture of something stupid:

stupid internet picture



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Random Thought: Cliche VS. Adage

“You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.”

Cliche or adage? All depends on the context. Any pithy statement takes on a cliche connotation when impetuously prated.

But, assign the phrase to a situation of significant value, and the once cliche becomes a maxim.

For me I did not have to lose what I value; instead, I almost loss. If you almost lose your life; the life of another; or your marriage, suddenly: “You don’t know what you have until it’s almost gone.”

Now I am grateful– but I fear time– because time always erodes the grateful into cliche and once again we await the maxim to come.

Sincerely and ever truly yours,



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Random Thought: God Is A Specter

The idea of God cannot be destroyed– ever like a specter God moves to never be fully discovered. We claw and bare our teeth believing holiness to be cornered. The thirst for the divine blood coursing through God’s veins makes us ravenous. To behold and snuff the power of God; to expurgate the thought of the holy.

The authentic God fears not the attempts of humans; God is not governed by their fates and actions; God cannot be contained by their hands. Ever allusive God portends of the capture, but is never fully revealed, escaping to be hidden elsewhere not yet discovered.

Followers of the true God never fear their divinity shall be extinguished– true faith in truth cannot truly falter.

When we as a race begin to stand in a hubris defined by the ability to expunge God, we only fool ourselves. The honest know: ever will the idea of God lurk in the human psyche.

Where is God… for you?


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